It's That Time!

So I guess its time to start baby proofing. My child is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Either its in his walker or him dragging/rolling himself across the floor. Nowadays when I lay him on the floor and bombard him with his toys, he screams. And when i put him in his walker to maybe possibly make some breakfast or pee, he screams. Right now he is inching his way to me and fussing the whole time. I am getting so much advice from moms saying "Let them cry it out", "they have to learn to self soothe", "don't co-sleep, put them in another room" and my favorite..."give him formula to help him sleep"....I AM GOING TO LOOSE MY MIND! ...Well actually I don't think that I can loose something that has been gone for a while now. I'm not sure what mom actually let's there poor helpless 6 month old it out, but its heartbreaking for me. I'm not sure what mom would want to fully wake up and truck across the room to get there screaming 6 month old about a hundred times a night and what mom would want to spoil his special mommy baby bonding time and take away his nursing time, not to mention fighting with him to take a bottle and give him anything but his beloved "num nums". Cam nurses for comfort, for love, for bonding, attention and lastly for food. I nurse him 24/7. When I'm not holding him he cries and sometimes even when I hold him he cries. Sometimes when I nurse him, he will stop and make sure that I am watching him or he won't eat, and talking is totally out of the question. He's a very demanding little boy to say the least! I love him though and he's worth it all. I just wish people would keep there ideas to themselves, it's always easier said then done and I am sure they didn't do every bit of advice they dish out. What I want to know is who are these mothers with a spotless house, a rested child, fixed hair, make-up and a healthy marriage? How do they do it? I'm struggling to keep up with hte house work, Cam is not on a schedule hence he's tired, my hair is a mess, make up is forgien and I struggle to spend ANY time with my husband. Maybe I just need to prioritize my life.

Me and Seth have been talking a lot about buying our own house. There are so many programs out there for people in our sisuation and luckily we have a supportive family and are willing to help us in this process. I am so ready to be with my family and not have people interupting with my life.
Sunday night seth had a show at a bar and so he left here at around 8:45 pm and no sooner had he left the house, my dad comes storming in and was like where's seth going? he has a show? this late? where is it? what is he doing?! I was so mad. The baby had JUST fallen asleep and he just about woke the baby up. Not to mention stepping in my bedroom, my personal space and my bubble. I am so tired of having them in every bit of our business. Then monday morning he like cornered me and questioned me about his job and our relationship and turns out he was eves-dropping on us the night before and our converstation. We had a talk and he heard everything. So now we cant even talk in the privacy of our own bedroom. We pay rent, we but the groceries and I clean, do dishes, laundry and sometimes even cook. Its not like we are free-loaders. We deserve some privacy. I just need to get out of here. They are parents and I'm at the end of my rope, I can't imagien how Seth feels, he isn't related to them and he has to deal with them. I just want my family and my house they way I want it. I know that Camden is going to be disiplined by my dad and honestly I don't think that I want it that way. Or his way. I just can't hear how to raise Camden anymore. It bothers me so much I think because he was NEVER there when we were kids so how does he know? He was either working or out partying. So he just needs to stay out of it. And my mom makes it seem like my dad was a total catch when they first met. Which bothers me so much too. He was a drunk and pot head and never home, so when seth does something she like attacks me with how awful he is. But when I remind her of my dad she just defends him. Like last night we made hamburgers and my dads wasn't totally cooked, he FLIPPED OUT. Instead of being like well this one is a little pink I'll put it back he like snapped. Instead of being like, well thank you for making me dinner on top of everything else you guys do...he refused to eat threw the burger back in the pan and stormed out. Then my mom blamed it on me and never defended herself. Maybe that's why when me and seth fight I defend myself so fiercely. So that there is never room to question if I am strong enough to stand up for myself. When seth says something out of line I defend myself and make sure he knows it. If he would have bitched about an uncooked hamburger...which by the way was just a tad-bit pink, I would have yelled at him said something I would regret and probably threw it at him...So not cool. My mom just takes it though and doesn't say a word. Maybe that's why they have been married for 84 thousand years. Who knows. I do know that I would not take that attuide. And I have attempted to cook for seth, one time serving him raw chicken..and he reacted calmly and just put in back in the oven to continue cooking. Its the thought that counts. God, I have to do get out of this house. Its like all negative nancy and I'm becoming a negative nancy too. Seth says that the attuide in this house brings him down and its true. I just dont want to have to walk around on egg-shells ne more!!!!! I am cleaning houses this summer to make money and seth is working...so hopefully next year we will be in a position to buy. I am crossing my fingers and counting the days.