Farewell Friend...

I just stumbled upon a scene no animal lover ever wants to see...my betta fish has passed away :( I had been telling myself that I had to add more water to his bowl...but obv. it was not top on my priority list and after I put Cam to bed tonight I headed over to his bowl and found him there..in his final resting place. Now, some....well, most would say that its JUST fish and to them I would say he was not JUST fish..he lived 4 years!! I googled the life expectancy and its only 2 years..so its safe to say he was a grand-pa :( I feel like this is my fault. I should have changed his water sooner..he still had some but it wasn't full to the top. This is sooo sad. Seth, I dont think? will buy me another one ...we'll see though.


This is what he looked like..a beauty huh?? I'm all choked up!!!

Well, I have a little extra time right now, so I will put some pictures up from my brother's wedding that was way back in June. So I'm a little delayed. I am trying to get better about this blogging.

My lovely family<3

I was a bridesmaid and he was a groomsman....cute huh?

My brother Ben and his wife Amber (Bride&Groom)

Wedding party

this would be the whole family..minus the gram and gramps. (too sick to make it)
The wedding was about 2 hours? away. It was Camden's first night away from home. He did really well!! After the wedding we stayed at my dad's camp. Its about an hour away from where the wedding was and was such a nice get away. I'll have to take some pictures of it and show you. Its really nice. My dad built this beautiful farmer's porch on the back of the cabin that over looks a brook. So you hear water flowing and birds chirping...no t.v., no cars, just some mountain men that live next door and the sound of your own heart beating...sooo nice!! Ohh and by mountain men...I am not kidding. These people are crazy. Its amazing, only 3 hours away from home and its like a whole new world...they occusionally come over and bug my dad for beer...ha. at least it keeps us entertained!My dad is OBSESSED with buying camps. He's like on this frenzy. He buys them and then rents them out to hunters..or campers..or for people who enjoy camping but like the luxury of the sink and toliet. The newest one to his addition has beach roses that surrond it..its so nice. And raspberries are growing in the back yard..I wish that I could live there. Ohh, and an even better bonus! A hollowed out old bus in the back that the previous owners used as a wood-shed. Too funny!! I'll def. have to take some pictures of that!


Yesterday was my good friend Nikki's wedding. We went to high school together, and she is just one of those people that you click with. We were best friends in high school and still are. She joined the Navy and is stationed in Guam so I don't see her very often, but her wedding was yesterday and it was BEAUTIFUL. It was this adorable little church and it was candle-lit. It was in Kennebunkport so that should just tell you there. The recpetion afterwords was nice too but we had Camden with us and a 9 month + no sleep is a recipe for disaster. He held it together for a while but after 3 hours he couldn't take it anymore. We got to stay for the cake..which poor thing, COLLASPED. It had whip cream (sooo good by the way) but it like melted. So it was this mushy looking thing..I felt so bad! Oh and on the way over to the reception her dress ripped down the front!! Luckily she had her reception dress in the limo..but poor girl. She held it together really well though. It was really nice. I am so happy that she met someone so nice and charming. She really only deserves the best.

Here's a picture of my adorable little man. God, is he getting big. He holds onto furniture and walks around..getting braver and braver every single day. I just know one of these days he's going to let go and just take off on his own. You can see it in his eyes, he's just dying to let go. They grow up way to fast! The other night we put him on my horse Spirit for the first time with a saddle and he LOVED it. The camera, of course, was dead so I didn't get any pictures but he was laughing and loving it. My mom rode with him for a bit, but its been so long since either one of us had rode her she was feeling good and couldn't help but "kick up her heels" so to speak, so we were a bit nervous with no helmet for the little man. Next time though I will have my camera. What a price-less memory. Spirit is a big part of my childhood. She is a POA (pony-of-america) and I got her for my 4th b-day. Which is like every girls fantasty, but when these things are every day you take them for granted. In high school, I gave up riding because it was "lame" but recently have re-discovered the beauty of horses and the calmness it brings when you ride. Riding is like a smorgish-board of feelings. You feel empowered, you feel free, you feel weightless (literally and figurtively) and just amazing. For me, it brings back so many memories. Riding with my mom, I was on a horse riding before I could walk and riding with my aunt and going on trail rides. I have so many memories that are totally centered around horses. We have 4 in total and I am begging my mom to let me breed Spirit one more time to get a mare (girl) out of her that may be just as good as her. Spirit is the pony that everyone in the family learned to ride on..she is a great horse, but getting up there. 15 years old now. Wow. Time flies when you are having fun! ha. 30 is realllyyyy old. At 30 they usually have tons of problems and can't really see anymore or walk and that becomes dangerous for obv. reasons. When that day comes it'll be way sadder then any betta fish (sorry betta).
Yesterday we went and saw the actual apartment where we will be living. I have mixed feelings. I can't wait to move out to be on our own, as I have talked about before living here isn't the best of times but its still my family and I will miss waking up and seeing their faces. Greeting Cam and I and asking how his night went etc., and miss the wood-stove burning in the winter..and my moms blueberry muffins that she sometimes bakes. Ohh and my most favorite, coming home and having the house cleaned without my moving a finger, those days I am sorry to say are long gone. I will miss my animals and my familiar surrondings. For my husband, he can't back fast enough. He has lived in many different apartments...I think its like 12 or something? and I..I have only lived in my current house! Moving out is really scary and realty is hitting..hard. I won't be able to walk outside and smell the barn, or go and visit with my beloved horses. Or be scared to death to get into my car because the chickens are surronding it. (we'll go there another day) Instead, I'll be faced with buildings all around and the smell of city. While I am ready for new experiences, I am also dreading the change of it all. I will have to surrond my self with familiar things and get animals to make it feel more like home. We have a sunporch which is huge so I think that are going to get a bunny and keep him or her out there until it gets too cold, then bring it inside. And a kitten for sure. Ohh and we cant bring Abbie. I know the adjustment will be so hard. But I guess, it's time to spread our wings and fly. Nobody said growing up was fun OR easy. Its really hard actually!!! :( I cant wait until we have our own house that we can fill with whatever animals we want. And make that our home..something permanent. Not something temporary.

Well I am off to brush my teeth and go to bed! Goodnight all!