Going Through The Motions

So this weekend I hung out with an old friend from high school. We were always friends but now we have more in common then ever before. She's 8 months pregnant and married! It was so nice to be around someone hwo understands the up's and down's of marriage and I got to give her my input on the upcoming child birth! She is so excited and I am for her too. I remember the last 2 months, it was rough. It was amazing to me because people change so much from high school and I noticed how much I have changed from being around her. Who cares if your hair didn't get straightened for that day or if your lip gloss isn't what's in style. What matters is your baby, what matters is his health, what matters is keeping your sanity and your marriage going. Those are the things that are important to me. I laugh about what i used to think mattered, it was so stupid. I guess I can't come down on myself too hard, I didn't know any better.

Its finally spring! yiipp-ee! Doesn't feel like it though. I let the dogs out this morning and got quite a chill! I finally did my mid-term and only got an 85. blah, I'm pretty dissapointd in myself. My mom says not to come down on myself to hard...I do have a 5 month old that for one reason or another REFUSES to sleep. Although last night I gave him some baby tyolenol and he slept most of the night. His teeth are bugging him! He already has 2! I can't beleive how fast he growing. Seth got the job that he applied for almost 3 weeks ago! I am thrilled! Its monday through friday 7 to 3 kind of job, perfect for us and pays 15.00. My dad got him it so I told him whether he likes it or not, he's staying there! I think that we both have cabin fever! His doctor called him yesterday and he may have to have surgery on his back. He has 3 herinated discs in his back and they don't think steriod shots are going to be enough. I joke that I am going to be married to a crippled mexican! ha. I really do worry and hope that surgery will not be the best idea. Surgery on the back is pretty scary. He's in so much pain though, he can't even get out of bed or sit down. The look on his face reminds me of the face I had when I was in labor. Last year he had an MRI and he had only one herinated disc, now its three. Obv. its getting worse before it gets better. He has pain pills but they just make him sick to his stomache and he's been taking them so often that he needs to take more then one to feel any effect. I massage his back but even that hurts him. Its painful to watch him gimp around.

I hope that soon we will be living on our own. I am fighting with the thought of going back to work to help with the money...or lack of money. This won't be until after I finish school and am done breastfeeding. But my dream would be to pay for the materials as we build and only take out a big loan for the well, septic and foundation. My dad can do most of the building and he has friends. So paying for the materials would be super. That I am sure is everyone's dream. My parents gave us an acre and thats 90,000 so we have that in equity! I just need to be on my own with my family. My parents are driving me insane. Always telling me what to do with Camden. Its not fair, they didn't have parents us there asses telling them what to do! I just wish they would lay off a bit and give us a chance to be first timers..instead of breathing down our throats every 5 seconds. I know that they mean well, but i have asked them to stop and they think that I am joking. Well the baby is awake so I must be going!

HAPPY SPRING! :D