Where in the world did the last 1 1/2 years of my life go? Wasn't I just a free spirit, running around, sleeping til' 3 and eating whatever I wanted? Wasn't I a carefree beach going girl? Now I have a little monster who needs my care day and night and a husband who needs clean pants every day. I sometimes wake to Cam's cries and have to remind myself that I am momma now! The one that gets me the most though is when I hear his sweet little voice say "Momma". Ohhh meeee??!! I can't get over that I have a child. A KID! Not a baby, not a helpless little angel that sleeps all day long, but a full-blown house destroying, talking kid. Someone that is a sponge, watching and mimicking everything I do and say. The other day he put 2 words together to form a sentence and I cried. ALREADY? And it was this simple, "More ish" [More Fish] I can't believe it! This little boy who laughs at the kitty walking on the couch and cries when I leave the room. A little boy who insists he be read too for hours on end and loves his tubby time. A little boy who eats all by himself with a big boy fork and spoon. A little boy who requires a bib no more and adores wearing his fathers shoes around the house. My darling boy who is addicted to chocolate. And everything he sees and wants he looks at me with those big eyes and says "More". A little boy who every time we ride in the car insists we listen to "5 Little Ducks went out one day", and is IN LOVE with vrooms vrooms. All boy I guess. But what changed, where did the time go? He used to be a little 7 pound bundle of love that snuggled me and nursed all the time. He used to fall asleep in my arms and snuggle into my body and breath so deeply and comfortably. I used to lay awake and watch him breath just to make sure he was okay. He always slept with me. I couldn't bare the horror stories of babies not making it through the night. I knew my baby would be safe by my side. And know he spins around in circles as fast as he can and then tries to walk. (So funny, btw) He dances to music and says vroom vroom to every car, truck, or van. He attempts to blow on his food to cool it off but instead spits all over his plate. He takes all of the potting soil out of my plants and puts it in the back of his john deer dump truck and drives it around the house going "vroom vroom"! If ever he is quiet you know, oh you just KNOW, he is in the kitty food dish dispensing it through out the laundry room and transferring it into the watering dish to make a big sloppy kitty food mess.
The little boy who comes to my side with his blanket and his pacifier and says more, just for a snuggle. A little boy who needs to be massaged and pampered every morning before he can fully wake up. A little boy who needs juice and cereal ready for him when he wakes up. He doesn't like waiting! A little boy who freaks out if his father and me even hug in front of him. He jumps up and runs between us looking up at us and says "More". My darling, charming, full of life boy. The boy who pooped in the tub last night. The boy who just came to my side and declared he wanted "more" chocolate from the basket at my left that is filled with Easter candy. And even after giving him 2 mini chocolate eggs that both remain in his mouth he puts up a tiny fit for more. "MOOOREEEEEEEEE" He even comes to my left side and points at the basket, as if I needed to see exactly what he wanted more of. This little boy who played in the Bisquick box while I was cooking dinner and in a matter of seconds had the entire box spilled all over the floor, himself and the walls. And then just looked at me with this "what mom"? look. My little boy who I will forever love no matter what. The boy that made me a mommy. The boy that made my dreams come true~
Moving On:
Seth loves his job. I am glad. In this job market its amazing he got it. He had to beg, borrow and steal to get it. But thankfully he got it! Only a matter of time now and we'll be celebrating in our new home. I cant wait to buy a house. It's all I ever think about. I want my son and future kids to grow up in a home that makes memories. Somewhere that is home. I always lived in my parents house so it IS home to me. I want that for my kids. We also want to try for another bibay this summer. Time for Cam to have a little brother or (hopefully) sister! But only if we are in full house searching mode. No apartment with 2 kids. Even though my apartment is huge and spacious. I just want to own! Other then that I am finishing up school, writing more then ever and enjoying life today more then yesterday. Seth and I have have a new outlook on life. Just be happy. SO hard to live by though. Its easy to get stressed or angry and take it out on each other. No more though. No more worries. I can only hope that the snow is done falling! I need SPRING!
thanks for reading,
Bethany
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