Long time...

Ahhhhh its been soooooo long since i last blogged. It's so hard to find the time..and when I actually have a little spare time I am usually catching on up on everything that I am behind on.

Updates:
Camden sleeps in his crib now!! It's very exciting. The first night he cried for an hour, the second night it was a half hour and the third night it was like 15 minutes. There are nights now where he will just lay in his crib and go to sleep on his own, but mostly he will cry for a few minutes. For naps, he cries about 20 minutes sometimes..but it has only been 2 weeks. Let me tell you, it BREAKS my heart. Every ounce of my being wants to run in there and save him from his cries..but then again I don't want an 8 year old sleeping with me either. Lesson learned: kids need there own sleeping space. Good thing I learned this before it was too late. Like when he was 3 and is actually able to get up and crawl into bed with me. I also learned that its not about ME and my needs for my cute little boy to snuggle with, its about him and his need to self-soothe and know that he's safe even when he's not wrapped in mummy's arms. poo. being a mom is no fun at times.

also, i have been attending school in the mornings for about 3 to 4 hours. Leaving him was again another heartbreaking dilemna, but its good to be away and regain myself. I went and got channeled by this amazing woman at Mainely you massage and I recommend anyone who wants a massage to go to her. Her name is Stacey and for 60 bucks you get one amazing one hour massage and get channeled...have enegry and crystal work...AMA-ZING. She told me that I have to fill up on stuff htat I love in order to spill out and be an even better person..or mom in my case. So I realized that I am probably a better more patient person when I get to do things by myself every once in a while. School is great...I am going for medical assisting...I am not sure what I am going to do once I graduate because I want to be a stay at home momma..but there must be a reason for my signing up. I am just waiting to find out. So for now, that's what I am doing. Leaving him in the mornings though and then putting him in his crib and letting him cry is hard for me because I already feel guilty about leaving him and he must feel totally abandoned when I leave him to cry for 30 minutes. I HAVE to get over it. I can't have a bratty toddler running around getting everything that he wants.

Seth and I are moving out on the 1st of September. I am mega excited. We are moving about 5 minutes from here and its a 4 bedroom apartment with a yard. I am so excited!! His mom is going to take one of the rooms to help us save money...now I know what you are thinking....exchanging one parent problem for another one..but its not like that. His mom isn't ever home and when she is she keeps to herself..unlike my parents who wish to know EVERYTHING that's happening in our life at EVERY moment. I love them..but they are sooo noisy. I know that when we move it wil still be that way, but we WON'T BE LIVING WITH THEM..soooo we won't be under CONSTANT survelience. I am ready to be out on our own. It's just like we have a room-mate..and it's a roommate we can trust with a child. One year..that's our plan...one year to be more settled. I may go back to work ...we'll see. I realy love spending all my time with Cam..but if I do something per-diem...it coudl work. I made really good money at hte veterans' home as a cna working per-diem. I made 15.50 an hour..for a 16 year old in high school..thats amazing. and for a young couple with a 9 month old..thats good money. we'll see though.

thats about it though. went to my brother's wedding in june and our good friend's joanie and cory's wedding. my really good friend nikki is getting married this upcoming saturday..she is in the navy and is stationed in guam..that's where she met her future husband..no he's not from guam..he was stationed there too. they are getting married in a cute little church in kennebunk port. it should good times. nikki is the girl that i bring sexy back with <3

ohhhh and we are getting a kitty when we move out!! yayy!! i am excited. i wish that we could bring abbie our rottie..but apartments dont allow big rottwieler's...even if she is the sweetest thing alive. one year and we can have all our animals!! welll....that's about it for now. i have some work to do...